Today, while reading a story here in DA, I heard a nice song that I relly suggest; What Hurts The Most, from Rascal Flatts. From on I started to listen many other songs that reminded me of the friendship that Kadder and I had. He's been a while avoiding me, and it seems that the last time I saw him was months ago. And it's true. I keep feeling like a huge hole in everywhere; my heart, my mind, my life, my time. And time is only a fog, passes fast and painfully. I can't stop thinking about him for even a second, even if I think about something else. He's there, always, with his neverending and almighty pressence. It feels like my breathing it's empty, like everything I knew showed it's ugly face. I only wanna hug him, and hear his heart beating, sleep very tight with him while rain tears apart the world, I wanna kiss him so much, hold his hand while we're out shopping, or having a date. I wanna... well, you figure it out. And the worst thing, at leastvwe were friends. And because of my supidity I lost him, though I think for some reasons I have I was already loosing him. And that's how the pain will never end. Here some lyrics from a song, made by Evanescence called October:

I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.